Yes, a brisk walk outside on days such as this can be invigorating. But does it really have to last 3 months?! When was the last time you felt invigorated for 3 whole months? Probably never, unless you lost weight and fell in love all in a ridiculously short amount of time. But I digress. Bears!
We can learn a lot from the bear. Just has a great time in Spring/Summer doin' his or her thing, walkin' around, casual theft of campers' belongings, making babies, the odd scuffle with a rival. Great.
In autumn (it's autumn, not fall. when you're on this site, you're technically in the UK and my word is law!), they stuff themselves silly; they get fat and they don't care; because they're going to sleep all through winter. All that weight's gonna fall off, they're gonna wake up refreshed, if not a little horny, and get ready to do the whole damn thing again!
We're an intelligent species, why didn't we think of that?!
I for one am going to try it over the holidays. I'm gonna slip off the radar, lose radio contact with my comrades, and just see how long I can sleep for. Plus that will give me a decent enough explanation as to why I'm putting on weight at an alarming rate.
I will probably write one or two more blogs before my hibernation, and then I'm out. I will return in 2008, refreshed, if not a little... hungry.
Mike
xxx
Saturday, 5 January 2008
Monday, 3 December 2007
Mike's sweet sweet revenge in picture form...
Just to make you all feel better, here is a picture comparison of how evil my ex fiance is, in comparison to how evil i am... Make up you own mind!
Feel free to post me your own pictures of YOUR ex's! Not that we're bitter or anything. :)
My ex fiance...(she's aged a bit since her appearance in Gremlins 2)
Me at my most evil (ten minutes ago)
Have a grrrrreeeat day!!
Mike
x
Get the tissues, ladies! I feel like I’m at a housewives’ coffee morning!
Yes, I'm in touch with my feminine side! Although this blog is gonna sound like I'm at group therapy or a teenage slumber party.
OK...
This blog:
-Will have the usual ranting and raving.
-No quiz!
-The opportunity to tell me your story (believe me, I want to know it's not just me)
-Ah, i'll see if I can throw a useful household hint in there too. Just for you.
Now, I don't want to get all "boo hooey" on your asses, but I need to establish that I have a right to be angry!
Ok, so this week, exactly one week after I was burgled, I found out that my ex-fiance is engaged to the guy she cheated on me with and left me for. Fair enough, but she only left me 7 months ago, and I found out from everyone else. So in light of this, I thought I'd just ramble to my e-friends and see what the reaction was.
For the record, I was a pretty devoted guy- too devoted actually. Too weak. I forgave her infidelity too many times, thinking that it would prove that I was serious and that I loved her. She was the queen of manipulation as well. We met up a few months ago, as she was obviously getting bored of her new victim, so she thought she'd stir stuff up in my life. And somehow, I ended up apologising again for ruining things for us.
Now, you may think, "Yeah, but we don't know if you did actually ruin it or not." Well, no, that's true, but I can put you in the picture just a little bit. I'd been with her for 4 years and never looked at anyone else. She was it for me. And she cheated on me with 9- count 'em, 9- other guys during that time. And she managed to keep it from me, until she confided in one of her friends who also happens to be my friend.
We split up for a couple of months, but got back together after she promised she'd never do anything like that again, and that, in fact, she knew what she wanted now, and she wanted to marry me. I said if she ever hurt me again, that was it. Finished. Although even if she had, I probably wouldn't have ended it. Love is blind, deaf, dumb and stupid, so it would seem. But nonetheless, 6 months from our wedding, she went on a "camping trip with her sister," which I now know was slightly more than a camping trip. Anyway, a week later, she came out with a load of venom, saying that I had changed and that I was arrogant coz I had started plugging my album to all sorts of people (albums cost money to make - can't keep 'em secret).
Well, I fell for it and carried all of the blame for several months and spiraled downwards. But the truth will out, my friends, and I now know all the things she did to me behind my back. I thought relationships were a sacrifice, and that you had to be half a person if you wanted it to work. I now realise that thats just what my relationship did to me. Turns out they're actually supposed to be pretty nice! I never knew that!
So I know I've just been rambling mindlessly, but what I really wanted to know is whether any of you have had a similar experience: a nasty break up; been betrayed; betrayed another; just so we can get some understanding of why we all work this way and why it has to be so complicated.
These things take a long time to get over (2 years according to professionals) so I think I'm pretty justified in being angry over the latest bit of news. Though, the positives if it are that I no longer have any fond memories. Only bitter ones. They've all been tainted.
Rest assured, I will be venting my rage via the gift of song. Look out for 1 or 2 pretty angry songs on the next album! Don't worry, there's plenty of chilled ones in the pipeline as well. But yeah, just message me back and let me know whether I'm justified in feeling hard done by. And if you feel the need to vent your rage or frustration or sadness, then this is the place. Just for this blog, though! Let's not make this an unhappy place! The MFGN train is on it's way to funtown! Yeah!
Mike
xxx
Handy Household Hint 71:
Algebra doesn't apply to stains. Two negatives do not make a positive. A tomato/tobasco/marinara sauce stain on your clothes will not be neutralised if you add more sauce...
OK...
This blog:
-Will have the usual ranting and raving.
-No quiz!
-The opportunity to tell me your story (believe me, I want to know it's not just me)
-Ah, i'll see if I can throw a useful household hint in there too. Just for you.
Now, I don't want to get all "boo hooey" on your asses, but I need to establish that I have a right to be angry!
Ok, so this week, exactly one week after I was burgled, I found out that my ex-fiance is engaged to the guy she cheated on me with and left me for. Fair enough, but she only left me 7 months ago, and I found out from everyone else. So in light of this, I thought I'd just ramble to my e-friends and see what the reaction was.
For the record, I was a pretty devoted guy- too devoted actually. Too weak. I forgave her infidelity too many times, thinking that it would prove that I was serious and that I loved her. She was the queen of manipulation as well. We met up a few months ago, as she was obviously getting bored of her new victim, so she thought she'd stir stuff up in my life. And somehow, I ended up apologising again for ruining things for us.
Now, you may think, "Yeah, but we don't know if you did actually ruin it or not." Well, no, that's true, but I can put you in the picture just a little bit. I'd been with her for 4 years and never looked at anyone else. She was it for me. And she cheated on me with 9- count 'em, 9- other guys during that time. And she managed to keep it from me, until she confided in one of her friends who also happens to be my friend.
We split up for a couple of months, but got back together after she promised she'd never do anything like that again, and that, in fact, she knew what she wanted now, and she wanted to marry me. I said if she ever hurt me again, that was it. Finished. Although even if she had, I probably wouldn't have ended it. Love is blind, deaf, dumb and stupid, so it would seem. But nonetheless, 6 months from our wedding, she went on a "camping trip with her sister," which I now know was slightly more than a camping trip. Anyway, a week later, she came out with a load of venom, saying that I had changed and that I was arrogant coz I had started plugging my album to all sorts of people (albums cost money to make - can't keep 'em secret).
Well, I fell for it and carried all of the blame for several months and spiraled downwards. But the truth will out, my friends, and I now know all the things she did to me behind my back. I thought relationships were a sacrifice, and that you had to be half a person if you wanted it to work. I now realise that thats just what my relationship did to me. Turns out they're actually supposed to be pretty nice! I never knew that!
So I know I've just been rambling mindlessly, but what I really wanted to know is whether any of you have had a similar experience: a nasty break up; been betrayed; betrayed another; just so we can get some understanding of why we all work this way and why it has to be so complicated.
These things take a long time to get over (2 years according to professionals) so I think I'm pretty justified in being angry over the latest bit of news. Though, the positives if it are that I no longer have any fond memories. Only bitter ones. They've all been tainted.
Rest assured, I will be venting my rage via the gift of song. Look out for 1 or 2 pretty angry songs on the next album! Don't worry, there's plenty of chilled ones in the pipeline as well. But yeah, just message me back and let me know whether I'm justified in feeling hard done by. And if you feel the need to vent your rage or frustration or sadness, then this is the place. Just for this blog, though! Let's not make this an unhappy place! The MFGN train is on it's way to funtown! Yeah!
Mike
xxx
Handy Household Hint 71:
Algebra doesn't apply to stains. Two negatives do not make a positive. A tomato/tobasco/marinara sauce stain on your clothes will not be neutralised if you add more sauce...
Monday, 26 November 2007
Things not to say to a thief...
Greetings, friends.
Ok, it's Blog time. Here are some things you should know:
There will be a serious commentary in this one.
It may or may not last long.
Once again, there is no prize (sorry!).
Can you spot the deliberate mistake?!
There will be some helpful hints at the end.
Well, I was burgled this week. Shocking. All my neat, cool stuff has gone, though thankfully my guitars and equipment are safe. Evidently, the crooks have no taste. So anyway, I had to talk to the police and get some kind of CSI-type guy round.
Before I continue, here is a very important tip: watching CSI and/or Columbo, or other great investigative shows, does not make you an expert. The real life crime expert will not appreciate your attempts to "help him" or point out his "mistakes" (e.g "why aren't you bagging that up and sending it to trace?!?!")
So anyway, I realised, after showing the guy round the scene, that it wasn't really the stuff that was gone that upset me; that can be replaced (although I was ridiculously angry): it was more the intrusion. There's something very unsettling about knowing that someone else has been in your personal space without your permission. I got into my bedroom to find that it'd been turned over, and my living room had been trashed. To add insult to injury, they'd even left their damn crowbar in my kitchen!
Ok, it's Blog time. Here are some things you should know:
There will be a serious commentary in this one.
It may or may not last long.
Once again, there is no prize (sorry!).
Can you spot the deliberate mistake?!
There will be some helpful hints at the end.
Well, I was burgled this week. Shocking. All my neat, cool stuff has gone, though thankfully my guitars and equipment are safe. Evidently, the crooks have no taste. So anyway, I had to talk to the police and get some kind of CSI-type guy round.
Before I continue, here is a very important tip: watching CSI and/or Columbo, or other great investigative shows, does not make you an expert. The real life crime expert will not appreciate your attempts to "help him" or point out his "mistakes" (e.g "why aren't you bagging that up and sending it to trace?!?!")
So anyway, I realised, after showing the guy round the scene, that it wasn't really the stuff that was gone that upset me; that can be replaced (although I was ridiculously angry): it was more the intrusion. There's something very unsettling about knowing that someone else has been in your personal space without your permission. I got into my bedroom to find that it'd been turned over, and my living room had been trashed. To add insult to injury, they'd even left their damn crowbar in my kitchen!
I suppose the other really disturbing thing is knowing that someone was tracking your movements for who knows how long.
This world is a lovely place as long as you are unaffected by things, but when reality bites down hard, you remember that there is alot of evil on this potentially glorious planet. Contentment is shortlived. You never know what's round the corner, but you can be certain that nine times out of ten it's not gonna be very nice. All the more reason to constantly be aware of our priorities in life. For me, it's about remembering to show that I love my family and friends, and make amends with those whom I've had silly fallouts with. You never know if someone is watching them and you never know what tomorrow will bring. Thought: what the hell would I have done if these people had still been there when I got home? Not worth thinking about.
Anyway, as burglaries go, this was the best you can hope for. No one was hurt and nothing sentimental was taken. If anyone reading this has had a similar experience, man, I'm really sorry. You are in my thoughts even though I don't know you just yet. Be safe people.
Now, on with the positives!
In thinking about what I'd do when faced with a burglar, I have come up with a few things to say/not to say. Please feel free to let me know anything you come up with. This could be fun! Vent your inner anguish on this page!
1) "Don't come a step further. I am a killing MACHINE!"
2)"You'll have to prise this TV from my cold, dead, lifeless fingers, you son of a bitch!" (perhaps said in a new york/italian accent - your best De Niro impression)
3)"Think fast! A train leaves New Jersey at 12.13 pm, travelling at 65 mph. Four minutes later, another train leaves Boston travelling at 45 mph. Each train has four carriages. At what time will they pass eachother?" (say as quickly as possible and get ready to wave your hand in front of his entranced face)
4) "You may take my things.....but you'll never take....my FREEDOM!" (said in your best Mel Gibson phoney Scottish accent)
That's a start. Give it some thought. Until next time, friends.
Mike
MFGN
xxx
P.S. There was no deliberate mistake! HA!
Sunday, 18 November 2007
The horrors of late night music channel hopping.
Hi. I'm Mike. Inventor, founder and valued team member of the band My Father's Good Name. I am about to write a blog. Here are a few facts:
-It may or may not contain interesting information.
-There will be a degree of ranting & raving.
-There will NOT be a test at the end.
-You will not win a prize.
-There WILL be a "handy household hint" or "safety tip" at the end.
-You will have learned something. (not a guarantee)
I was watching TV last night, from the hours of 3 til 5 am with my friends Abi and Katy (friends/manager/tea girl - and mediocre tea at that) and it struck me that there are a lot of music videos about that feature grown men jumping over things. Apparently, this new fangled form of jumping is very popular. It's amazing. It's the "in thing". Now i don't know about you, but is this necessarily something to be impressed by?! I can jump over stuff. BUT... I can also discern what NOT to jump over. That's the clever part. That's what separates me from the animals (the jumping ones). Maybe these people who jump over a lot of things haven't quite got to this stage in human development. Or maybe they have Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder and putting one foot in front of the other bores them. Either way it's sad. I wonder if there's a charity I could give £2 a month to that'd help 'em out?
There is something mildly horrific about watching mind numbing music videos in the early hours. But you certainly learn a lot. And it is blog fuel my friends! I was watching a certain video with three girls dressed in yellow, singing about messing some guy around and then realising how they really feel about the poor sucker. Shaking ones moneymaker is not grounds for reconciliation in my book. But I digress. So about 30 seconds in, my eyes were bombarded with what I can only describe as a giant grey ass. Naturally, I paused the TV (with the aid of technology), grabbed my pointing stick and moved in for a closer look. And to my horror, I realised that the aforementioned posterior had been technologically enhanced! Without doubt! If you ever see it, please pause your television set and fashion your own pointing stick. Anyway, I came to this conclusion by process of elimination. I asked some pretty searching questions beforehand: Was she wearing some sort of body suit for comical effect? Was she smuggling illegal immigrants in that thing? Did she have a tragic, "won't be long before it's in a documentary" type disease? But alas, i just had to accept that in such a fickle age, her ass had been photoshopped. What an exciting time we live in. I wish someone could photoshop my ass. I'd get them to put eyes and raised eyebrows on it. Or if I were famous, I'd secure some sort of sponsorship deal for each cheek. But that might be bordering on corporate sodomy.
Still, it was an entertaining enough video. Essentially two people were walking across town trying to find each other. He jumps over a few things that get in his way. Vans, stairwells and the like; she uses more traditional means of getting about, like pavements. She sees him. He can't see her. He texts her "where r u?". "Close" she replies. The search continues......
Now, if it was me, I'd text back and say "Why don't you just tell me where you are? Why are you being so difficult and dramatic? Come to think of it, isn't that why we broke up in the first place? And why the hell didn't we just call each other and arrange a time and place to meet?! I've been walking around for ages. I could've got some stuff done today and then got a taxi later on. I've literally wasted a day. Tell you what, we'll leave it, shall we? Maybe you shouldn't have been such a bitch when we were together..."
And the moral of the story kids, is don't stay up late and watch music videos. Read a book. You'll sleep like a baby.
Mike.
xxx
Mike's Handy Safety Tip #164:
If mother says "don't touch the iron, it's hot" - the iron is in fact hot and not to be touched. Mother is not a liar and your impending burns will remind you of this.
-It may or may not contain interesting information.
-There will be a degree of ranting & raving.
-There will NOT be a test at the end.
-You will not win a prize.
-There WILL be a "handy household hint" or "safety tip" at the end.
-You will have learned something. (not a guarantee)
I was watching TV last night, from the hours of 3 til 5 am with my friends Abi and Katy (friends/manager/tea girl - and mediocre tea at that) and it struck me that there are a lot of music videos about that feature grown men jumping over things. Apparently, this new fangled form of jumping is very popular. It's amazing. It's the "in thing". Now i don't know about you, but is this necessarily something to be impressed by?! I can jump over stuff. BUT... I can also discern what NOT to jump over. That's the clever part. That's what separates me from the animals (the jumping ones). Maybe these people who jump over a lot of things haven't quite got to this stage in human development. Or maybe they have Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder and putting one foot in front of the other bores them. Either way it's sad. I wonder if there's a charity I could give £2 a month to that'd help 'em out?
There is something mildly horrific about watching mind numbing music videos in the early hours. But you certainly learn a lot. And it is blog fuel my friends! I was watching a certain video with three girls dressed in yellow, singing about messing some guy around and then realising how they really feel about the poor sucker. Shaking ones moneymaker is not grounds for reconciliation in my book. But I digress. So about 30 seconds in, my eyes were bombarded with what I can only describe as a giant grey ass. Naturally, I paused the TV (with the aid of technology), grabbed my pointing stick and moved in for a closer look. And to my horror, I realised that the aforementioned posterior had been technologically enhanced! Without doubt! If you ever see it, please pause your television set and fashion your own pointing stick. Anyway, I came to this conclusion by process of elimination. I asked some pretty searching questions beforehand: Was she wearing some sort of body suit for comical effect? Was she smuggling illegal immigrants in that thing? Did she have a tragic, "won't be long before it's in a documentary" type disease? But alas, i just had to accept that in such a fickle age, her ass had been photoshopped. What an exciting time we live in. I wish someone could photoshop my ass. I'd get them to put eyes and raised eyebrows on it. Or if I were famous, I'd secure some sort of sponsorship deal for each cheek. But that might be bordering on corporate sodomy.
Still, it was an entertaining enough video. Essentially two people were walking across town trying to find each other. He jumps over a few things that get in his way. Vans, stairwells and the like; she uses more traditional means of getting about, like pavements. She sees him. He can't see her. He texts her "where r u?". "Close" she replies. The search continues......
Now, if it was me, I'd text back and say "Why don't you just tell me where you are? Why are you being so difficult and dramatic? Come to think of it, isn't that why we broke up in the first place? And why the hell didn't we just call each other and arrange a time and place to meet?! I've been walking around for ages. I could've got some stuff done today and then got a taxi later on. I've literally wasted a day. Tell you what, we'll leave it, shall we? Maybe you shouldn't have been such a bitch when we were together..."
And the moral of the story kids, is don't stay up late and watch music videos. Read a book. You'll sleep like a baby.
Mike.
xxx
Mike's Handy Safety Tip #164:
If mother says "don't touch the iron, it's hot" - the iron is in fact hot and not to be touched. Mother is not a liar and your impending burns will remind you of this.
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